An Anniversary Latte

Halloween is over and the holiday craziness, not to be confused with the day to day craziness, is about to begin.  Life seems too busy.  For at least a few minutes today, I'm happy to take some time to reflect on the fact that Rob and I have now been married for 14 years!  I can never seem to find time to write any more, and so I am updating a post from 5 years ago today...

"14 years ago today, we lived in a bubble. Jobs were everywhere and houses sold as soon as you put a "for sale" sign in the yard. 14 years ago September 11th was just another day on the calendar, and we never dreamed of paying more than $1.50 for a gallon of gas. 14 years ago the country was 3 days away from learning about recounts and hanging chads. 14 years ago our only baby was a 70 pound mutt, and Rob had never changed a diaper. 14 years ago we talked about having 3 kids someday, and we used cameras with real film.

14 years ago today we said "I do" and then we danced, and we started our adventure as a family. Happy Anniversary, Rob!"

An Honest Latte

Collect memories, not mementos.  That is one piece of advice that I would like to give my kids.  Of course, I'm sure that they will one day read all of these blog entries that I have written and use the memories I have recorded against me - I can almost hear the "I told you so's" and "How could you's" coming out of their grownup mouths.  So here it goes, I am dedicating this latte to my children who will read this at some point in the future.  Here is a list of confessions, tips, and general observations:

1. I am uncoordinated, talkative, and tone deaf, I might have passed those traits along to you.  At least you also have my blue eyes (and bad vision).

2. At some point in your early years, it is possible that objects in your stocking and/or Easter basket may have come for your preschool consignment sale.

3. I was forever upset that my dad didn't get me the pet guinea pig I wanted for my 7th birthday.  For that reason, we got a rabbit for y'all.  Now I understand why my father said no.

4. I traveled every six weeks or so from the time I was 10 until I was in college.  As a result I have lots of anxiety about travel preparations.  Sorry if I'm no fun to be around when we're preparing for a trip.

5.  I don't know how Santa survived in the years before eBay and Amazon.  I am glad that my years as Santa came after those great inventions.

6. Collect memories, not mementos - with the exception of American girl dolls.  We may as well hold on to the collection we have amassed.

7. Every great couple should have one spender and one saver.  I'm sure you can figure out which is which in our family.

8.  Keep trying new foods, you might eventually like them.  I just started liking olives 2 years ago.

9.  Wear sunscreen.  I had so many bad sunburns as a child, follow my current example.

10. Never ask anyone if they are pregnant or tell them they look tired.  Both could be taken as extremely rude.  You were raised in the South where we tend to talk around such things.

11.  You are not growing up in my dream house, but it is a dream home - one day you'll understand.

12.  I look forward to school breaks at least as much as you do, I really hate packing lunches every morning.

13.  I am so sad at the thought that in what seems like an instant you will all be grown and moving on, but I am also excited by the amazing people that you are becoming.  Since you are only actually 7, 9, and 11 right now I'm glad that I get to keep you close for a while.  

I could go on all night with this list, and yet, I'm fairly confident that you guys will eventually navigate life pretty well.  Either that or you will have some sort of app to help you.  Until then, make your bed, say please and thank you, and take time to reflect on life with your sentimental mother while I enjoy a latte.

A Funny Latte

"What is something funny that happened today?"  This is my new favorite question du jour to pose to my kids when we sit down to dinner.  Tonight Charlotte answered with something funny that her brother had done, and the ensuing discussion led to an argument free meal for all of us.  I will admit that tonight is the first time I've tried this, but it seems like a good idea.  

My grandfather use to always ask "What did you learn today?" when we sat down to dinner at his house.  I was never sure what to say, but I wish I could still have those discussions with him today.  The tried and true "What's the best thing that happened today?" tends to lead to too much competition with my crew.

My day got a whole lot funnier after dinner when I opened my package from Amazon.  My husband and I are going to a 1940's themed 40 birthday party this weekend and I needed a costume for the event.  I spent about 3 minutes looking on Amazon and I ordered the 1940's GI costume without too much thought.  Can anyone explain why every female adult costume ends up being a sexy version of the character?  Who knew that Amazon carried products from a company called Secret Wishes?  Needless to say, I'm 41 and not a huge fan of working out.  I'm wearing the dress as a shirt with a skirt I found in my closet.  Not a story I would share at the dinner table, but it did lighten my mood for the day.

Try it - ask your kids to tell you about something funny that happened during the day.  As my oldest gets closer to his teenage years, anything that will keep him talking and laughing about his day is a good plan.  We will see what happens that is funny tomorrow - maybe something over a latte with friends in the morning

A 2 point Latte

I am ready to complain.  For a few days, as I often do, I have been thinking about the things I want to write.  2014 has gotten off to quite a start here in Atlanta.  Yes, I live in Atlanta - the city that has been shut down by not 1 but 2 snow storms in 3 weeks, not to mention the extreme cold that also caused all of the schools to close last month.  Here are the numbers - today is the 30th weekday since Christmas break officially ended.  It is also the 2nd scheduled holiday (President's Day and MLK day).  We have had 8 and a quarter snow days - only 2 of which were really good for playing in the snow.  My youngest had the flu so she was out of school 4 of the days that school was actually in session.  My oldest also had one sick day.  My middle child, not be left out, didn't time it as well so she was sick on 2 of the snow days.  She also had an emergency trip to the dentist for a chipped tooth one morning on a school day.  Are you keeping track?  On 17 of the last 30 week days, I have had one or more of my kids home with me for some or all of the school day.  I love my kids, but there is a reason that I don't homeschool them.  On the night before the latest snow storm, I stocked up on bread, milk, and we bought a few new games for the Wii.

Then something happened this weekend.  The sun came out and we had a weekend that revolved mostly around the church league basketball tournament.  My husband was there for much of the weekend, and my son played in 3 of the games.  The final game of the tournament for my son's team was a great game. Prior to this weekend I had not gone to any of the games this season since Rob is always there and there is not much room for spectators.  Mason got on a team with power house players, he is not one of them, but he has enjoyed the season immensely.  Yesterday the game was close, and as I was watching Mason ended up with the ball, he shot and scored!  It was the first basket that he made all season.  The kids and parents of his teammates went crazy.  It was not the game winning shot, but they did go on to win the game.  We are not a family of huge sports moments so for us, that moment was huge.  I forgot all of my complaints of the past week, and enjoyed the moment.

It is suppose to be in the 60s much of this week.  I have spring fever, and I would much rather go to the beach than skiing (which is what we have planned) for spring break.  I am actually going to make an appearance at work today.  I wonder if they will remember me, I have been gone alot lately.  Maybe I will start exercising again.  I will have a chance to watch more sports as Charlotte gets ready for her 2nd gymnastics meet on Sunday.  Getting back into a routine of packing lunches and getting ready for school every day is going to be tough, but I'm sure summer will be here before we know it.  In the meantime, I'm going to schedule some time to meet my friends for a much needed latte.

A Review Latte

It is a new year.  Once again, I'm not sure how we got here so fast.  Some days, I'm not sure who these once so little and needy people running around my house are.  They seem so big and independent.  Now that we are fully entrenched in the 21st century, I see blogs everywhere.  The ones that speak to me the most are usually posted by friends on Facebook.  My first thought is always, "why didn't I write something like that?" After contemplating why my blog hasn't gone viral, I then started thinking about the year in review, and I came to this conclusion - it is hard to look back on the significance of certain moments until they are more than a year behind us.  Take 1997.  At the end of the year I would have told you that some big events included starting a new job at MCI, finally ending things with my college boyfriend, meeting some great new friends, and starting to date a coworker.  I did not know in January of 1998 that 1997 was the year I met my husband (the MCI coworker I was dating).  So when I asked my children about highlights from the 2013, they gave great answers, but who knows what the importance will be later in life.  I guess we will have to wait to see.  Here are some family events and highlights from the year.  If you know my kids, you'll know who said what:

"Vacations, making the gymnastic team, having a 2nd grade teacher who gives out candy, 5th grade, Minecraft, yoga certification, playdates and sleepovers with Rose, camp, summer break, the pool, right now"

Here is my looking back list of things I accomplished (good and bad) this year:

We survived the start of middle school and the logistics of riding the bus to a temporary home for the elementary school.  A year after the death of my boss, I started a new job (yikes!).  We painted the living room (by we, I mean Rob).  I exercised lots for the 1st part of the year, and not so much for the end.  I ate kale.  I had a mid-life crisis and started wearing make-up.  I yelled too much.  I walked all the time, often with my son.  I started blogs in my head every few day, but almost never found the time to write them down.  We shopped for living room furniture (we didn't buy any).  I cried with my child and held his hand tight when he had to get an IV for dehydration.  I gave things away.  I recycled.  I ate tomatoes from Rob's garden.  I spent time with my grandmother.  I bought skinny jeans (a sure sign that the trend is about to change.)  Our family started attending the best church service (the gathering at 5:05 at Glenn).  I rejoiced in the realization that we now have many family traditions for our not so little family.  I stayed in my comfort zone.  I celebrated with my children as they turned 7, 9, and 11.  I did not celebrate turning 41.  I had an old fashioned sleepover with my childhood girlfriends who are also my adult girlfriends.  I read every day.  I drank alot of coffee.

So there it is, a summary of our year.  I hope to yell less and laugh more in 2014.  I would love to take myself less seriously - my kids seem to have mastered that trick.  I would like to take up yoga, maybe Charlotte will teach it to me.  I want to embrace and enjoy the chaos of my children because they are growing up way too quickly.  Of course, 2014 will include a few lattes.  Happy New Year!

A Decorative Latte

Sometimes, a few new throw pillows is all it takes to make me feel really happy.  4 new pillows on my bed just changed the look of the entire room.  Of course, I then need to scatter the old pillows through out the house to give the appearance that we really needed this new purchase.  Our office has a rarely used twin bed that displays 8 pillows.  Organizing the beds makes me feel like I have organized my day.  As summer vacation draws to a close, I need all of the organizing help I can get.

School starts on Monday.  Unlike the last 3 years when we have walked all 3 of our kids less than a quarter mile around the corner to school, I feel like I will be spending my days in carpool line getting the girls to the temporary location of the elementary school and my son to middle school across town.  I am not alone in this logistical craziness.  I am working on carpool schedules and checking school bus routes.  We are also stocking up on school supplies and new shoes.  We are checking with friends about classes and teachers.  Everyone is excited and nervous, and a little sad to see the end of another summer which was so much fun even if it seemed to rain each and every day.  We are getting organized for another school year and all of its excitement and challenges.

I expect that we will stay organized until next Thursday.  By then everyone will be exhausted and grumpy.  Mornings will get a little busier as we do less each night to prep for the next day.  I will rally over the weekend to make sure we are ready for week 2, and we will fall into a pattern for the year.  I will say "hurry up" way too much, and I will be late for a few things (not school or gymnastics).  If I find a job, that will bring a new set of challenges.  I will exercise, cook, and clean more than I did over the summer, and I will find lots to worry about.  For now, I will get ready to embrace life with a 2nd, 4th, and 6th grader.  At least I know that I can look at my organized bed with all of its new throw pillows and smile.

A Lecture Latte

My son will be 11 this summer.  I have recently realized that it is time for "the talk." Not that talk, that's another latte, but the texting talk.  I have the joy of raising kids in the digital world we call home.  We had a small incident last week with texting, and he knew that a talk was coming.  Like many pre-teens, I suppose, he tried to avoid us hoping to avoid getting a lecture.  Since I come from a long line of passive aggressive, non-confrontational people, I offered to write a letter in lieu of a verbal lecture.  Here it is:

"Dear M - You asked for your lecture in the form of a letter so here goes.  Please read and re-read this and try to take my words to heart.  Read it often to remind yourself that I am watching you, and that daddy and I love you very much.  If you keep this letter and read it when you have a 10 year old child of your own, you will really understand all that I am trying to say.  

You are among the first generation to grow up in the digital age.  It is an exciting and scary place - the world of texting, YouTube, Facebook, Snapchat, and others.  I'm not sure if you and your friends fully understand the responsibility and maturity needed to use this technology.  Here are a few tips:

1. It's not a joke - even if you think you are joking when you send something, the person in the picture or recipient of the text might not see it that way.

2. Delete is not forever.  Even if you get rid of a text or picture off of your device, there is still a record of it.  Once you send it, you have no control over who see it but you are fully responsible if someone gets hurt (either emotionally or physically) because of your actions.

3. Don't forward things.  Again, once you send something out, anything could happen.  Make good decisions and don't sent out bad, mean, or offensive messages.

4. Parents are watching.  As you have seen, parents do monitor your devices.  We are not as clueless as you think.  We will judge people who seem to be making bad choices and sending offensive messages.  Don't be one of those people.

5. Take responsibility for your actions.  If you did it, don't try to blame someone else.

6. Don't lie, EVER!  This should be #1.  Always tell the truth, I promise you will get into so much less trouble in the long run.

7. This of how other people feel.  Before you send something out, think about how you would feel if it were being sent to you.  Yes, this includes being nice to your sisters.

I realize that this is alot of information to take in all at once.  It is all so important.  You are such amazing young man, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you ever.  You are your own person, though, and all I can do is hope that I have taught you how to make the right choices.  Try not to worry too much.  It has taken me 40 years to become this uptight about life.  You are young and you should just go with the flow.  If things don't happen exactly the way you planned, that is alright.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say to you.  Daddy and I are learning as we go.  We know that you are a good and kind person.  Don't put yourself in any sort of position where people might think something different.  Look people in the eye, and always speak clearly and politely.  Manners will get you further than you might think.  Always hold the door for people, and let ladies go first (even your sisters).  Most of all, never forget how much we love you!"

An Elementary Latte

I was the first.  Well, at least one of them.  In the fall of 1978, the local public school offered kindergarten for the first time.  Since my sister was already attending the school, I'm sure it was a fairly easy decision for my parents to enroll me as one of the 24 or so students.  Half of us attended in the morning and half in the afternoon.  My teacher, Ms. Branscomb, came to our high school graduation.  There were a handful of us who made it all 13 years together.  We're all friends on Facebook today.

In 2008 my son started kindergarten at that same elementary school.  By that time, kindergarten was full day and there were over 100 students split into 6 classes.  In May 2013 he will be the last.  Well, at least one of them.  After more than 50 years, the county has decided that the school building has come to the end of its useful life.  This summer, they will begin to tear down the school and build a huge, shiny new one in its place.

I'm sure it's a good decision.  I've known for a year that this was in the works, but we got the official announcement at last week's PTA meeting.  The principal of the school told us.  He was one of the first, too. We attended all of elementary school together, kindergarten through 7th grade.  He said all of the right things to put everyone at ease about the fact that we will be housed elsewhere for two years.  Still, I teared up listening to him.  It's just a building, but we grew up in that building, and, now, my kids are growing up there, too.

I don't like change, but with 3 kids, life changes daily.  Mason will be off to middle school next year (yikes!), and the girls will spend 2 years in a temporary elementary school.  We will be able to hear the construction on the new school from our house.

Here's a little shout out to Betty Rose Caldwell, my eccentric elementary school music teacher.  She taught us lots of Carpenters' songs, and she wrote the following Alma Mater.  The words once hung prominently at the back of the school cafeteria...
    When all the years have passed us by, and we must live with memories
    We know our hearts will always wander to the years we spent here.
    Our praise goes to dear Fernbank School, we'll always love and know thee
    For you have guided every step, directed towards excelling.
    We praise your name, dear Fernbank School.  Our first Alma Mater.

A Latte of Memories

So here is a latte that I wrote 4 years ago almost to the day.  Mason is now in 5th grade and in the home stretch of his elementary school days.  It was Mary Jane's first grade performance tonight.Tonight was the 8th holiday performance we've watched since I wrote the latte below, and my dad was there with us once again.  So here is my recycled latte for the evening...

27 - I guess it's a number that means different things at different times. It's a number that I thought of last week as I was watching Mason's 1st grade holiday performance. Each of the 6 classes performed a musical number in costume. Mason's class was sheep and shepherds. They've been practicing for weeks, it was very cute and a little crazy. I realize that this is only Mason's second year in elementary school. Charlotte will start next fall, and Mary Jane 2 years after that. We have lots of these to watch and enjoy.

That's where 27 comes in, I was sitting next to a man who, for basically all of the 80's and 90's had 4 children who spent a total of 27 years in elementary school. My dad, who has sat through 27 combined years of his children's performances, now watches his grandson perform at the same school my brother and sisters and I attended. I'm guessing that it all starts to become a blur of costumes, songs, learning lines, and I'm sure a few tears along the way. I don't think I could find a picture of any of my elementary school performances if I tried, and that's ok. I don't need to see them on Facebook now, I have enough memories to keep me going.

So here it is, I've found that if you try to watch a performance, as many do, through the lens of a camera, you might miss out. Take some pictures before, buy the DVD of the show if the school offers that very nice feature, and just sit back and enjoy the moment. That's really what lattes are all about, enjoy. And dad, the next one is on me.

A 40 year old latte

This is it, my last day in my thirties.  Tomorrow I start my forties, yikes!  I know they say that 40 is the new 30 , but I feel way too old for 30 and I have earned these wrinkles, stretch marks, and 10 extra pounds.  I'm not unhappy with where I am in life or with my age.

Given the events of the last few weeks, things are turning out much differently than I thought they would as I turn 40.  I'm not sure what direction my life will take professionally over the course of the next few months.  Some things that I have ruled out as possible career choices: 1. Interior decorator - if you have been inside my house, you'll understand why; 2. Any type of professional athlete - again, self explanatory; 3. Dog trainer - refer back to my post containing the list of all of the things my dog has eaten and this will make sense.

I've learned alot in my 40 years and forgotten alot, too.  My kids teach me new things almost daily.  I've also made lots of mistakes.  Those, too, have been good teachers.  I try to live without regrets because they really don't help with anything, but, like most people, I have a few.  Short hair in the 7th grade - huge mistake.  So was spending the day with a boy instead of with my high school girlfriends at a Christmas party in 12th grade.  Luckily, I can still claim those high school girlfriends as good friends, and I even saw many of them last weekend.  And, back to my crazy dog, I definitely regret not putting him in a crate every moment that I wasn't watching him for the last year.

So tomorrow I will be 40.  I might treat myself to an extra latte for the occasion.  I already redeemed my free birthday latte that I get for being a Starbucks rewards member.  I will feel loved by all of the wishes from my kids who have been working on surprises all week.  I will also be a little sad because when my boss died 3 weeks ago, the only thing he had on his calendar for this week was a reminder about my birthday.

In lieu of a big party, my sweet husband and I are going to finally get out of town in a couple of weeks for a kid-free weekend.  My marriage is one of my greatest accomplishments of my first 40 years (potty training has also served me well for most of my life, thanks mom).  I had to actually make myself a cup of coffee this afternoon so that I could stay awake for a night out with a few girlfriends.  When I got home, I told Mason that I was saying my final goodnight of my 30s to him, and that one day he would remember this moment and realize that I was not so old - he will probably be 39 himself at that time.

So there it is, the next 40 will have many more lattes than the first 40.  After the month I've had, I will go ahead and wish myself a happy birthday.