A Decade of Lattes

10 years ago I was still in my twenties (barely), I was still close to being a newlywed (married less than 2 years), I did not yet have a fancy coffee habit, and 10 years ago today I became a mom.  Like all parents I guess, my life now has 2 distinct parts - before kids and after.  Ten years is an entire lifetime to my son, but to me it has been a blink of an eye, a blur of milestones, birthdays, love and war with sisters, and, more recently, taking a backseat as friends become more important than mommy.

In another 10 years all of my kids will be driving (yikes!), and 2 will probably be in college.  I might be ordering more than one latte when we take a family trip to Starbucks, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  Right now I'll just take a moment to reflect on the last 10 years.  It hasn't always been pretty, and nothing, not even the many baby classes I dragged my husband to at the hospital really prepared me for most of it.

I've learned something new every day about myself and my kids during 10 years of parenthood.  It's not going to get any easier, but there is never a dull moment and I look forward to another decade of lattes.

A Celebration Latte

Rob and I have now celebrated 23 birthdays with and for our 3 kids, #24 will come in July.  At least half of those celebrations have been in the form of parties in our house and yard.  Once again, we have survived another May Madness - Mary Jane's party was last Friday night and Charlotte's was on Saturday. The birthday girls loved every minute.  6 year olds ran screaming around the front yard in their pajamas for Mary Jane's "almost a slumber party" and Charlotte and her friends had a great time rock climbing at an indoor climbing gym followed by pizza and cake at a restaurant that apparently was the meeting spot for every soccer team in the Greater Atlanta area.  Like I said, we survived.

I will admit that the first couple of parties for the kids were really my parties.  Mason's first birthday party started just in time for him to look at his cake and then go to bed.  The celebratory cookout lasted well into the evening.  Now, I am just a party planner - I send out the Evite and provide the food, often a chick-fil-a platter. This year Mary Jane asked me to bake her cake - it wasn't as good as a cake from Publix, but it had sprinkles so no one seemed to notice the taste.  Charlotte originally wanted a slumber party, but I just couldn't get my head around the idea of 8 girls spending the night.

I have found that the key to survival of kid parties is not to start planning too soon.  Friendships, themes, favorite toys can change in an instant.  Also, I'm not very good at planning ahead - my kids have learned to accept that fact.  Paying teenagers to come over and paint nails works 2 years in a row for very girly little girls, and I refuse to hand out goody bags.  Mary Jane's friends each got a new book and Charlotte gave out $5 gift cards to Barnes & Nobel as party favors.  As much as the parties stress me out, I will be sad when the kids give them up.  Until then, I'll keep trying to come up with new ideas that involve old decorations.  Maybe I'll even plan a party for myself, I've got a big birthday coming up in October.

A Latte of Stuff

42.  That's the number of coats, jackets, and vests I counted in our hall closet this morning.  I added 4 more this afternoon.  All for our family of 5.  And we live in Atlanta, it doesn't get that cold here.  This is just an example of the amount of stuff we have around here.

In the last several months, we have come close to finishing our basement renovation/completion.  The result is that we all moved to new rooms with new closets.  That means that I got to empty the contents of every closet and storage space in this house.  The capacity of children to squirrel away little items is amazing.  I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of happy meal prizes, game pieces, legos, lite brite pieces, pokemon cards, stuffed animals, barbies, and more legos - just to name a few.  I have consigned things, given them away, packed them away, and filled many trash bags.  And yet, we still have over 42 things hanging in the hall closet.

Here's my latte of stuff - wait.  I know it's easy to buy that one small item or let small kids bring home a random freebie from a store.  Don't even get me started on the goody bags from birthday parties.  But just wait before you say yes to that small purchase.  The items that seem so insignificant will soon fill entire drawers or storage bins.  Save yourself the sorting hassle, tell your kids that they actually will be able to live without one more Bakugan, My Little Pony, or whatever the toy of the moment is.  Instead save your money for a venti soy chai, or whatever latte you prefer.

An Easter Latte

I really want the picture, you know the one, kids all groomed in beautiful new clothes for church on Easter Sunday, Mom and Dad who don't look exhausted or frazzled. I know it sounds superficial, it's a picture that I've seen many times today on Facebook. But that is just not the reality of Easter for my crew. For one thing, our puppy ate Charlotte's new Easter sandals about 5 minutes after I got them out of the box, and Mason can't stand to wear anything with a collar. I also find that church with my whole family on Easter turns out to be a long and crowded event with kids who had too much sugar before 9:00 in the morning thanks to the Easter Bunny.

The perfect Easter picture didn't happen today, but that is alright. Instead of getting everyone fixed up for church, Rob and I walked to an outdoor 7:15 service at our church while the kids woke up to check out their Easter baskets with Grandma and Grandpa. They waited till we got home to hunt for eggs in the yard. We went out for breakfast and then had a family trip to the park on an amazingly beautiful day. We then spent the rest of the day at home, kids played with friends while Rob & I did a few more house projects (a latte of stuff is coming soon).

Next year I'll try again for the picture. We now know not to leave new sandasl unattended. But if it doesn't happen that will be ok. I feel pretty good about the quality of Easter we had at our crazy house, and today, I didn't even have a latte. Happy Easter.

Another Birthday Latte

Tomorrow is my birthday. In this post-Facebook era, hundreds of people will be informed somewhere on their home page to be sure to wish me a Happy Birthday. I just looked at my credit card bill and apparently I have already treated myself to a few birthday goodies. Next year is a big birthday, one that ends in a zero, I informed my husband months ago that we will be having a huge party for that one.

Tomorrow is just another day. Or so I would like to pretend, but with 3 kids, it's impossible to downplay a birthday. We will have candles and cake, I'll get some homemade cards and I'm using it as an excuse not to cook all week (I never really cook anyway). My kids will be excited and I guess that's what matters. And me, I'm meeting a friend for a birthday latte. With the week I'm having, that's all I really need to make it a great day. Next year we'll really celebrate a birthday.

A Roadtrip Latte

We're a roadtrip kind of family. Mary Jane is 5 and she has never been on an airplane, but she has been to New York, Chicago, South Florida just to name a few places. Last weekend, for Labor Day, we once again piled in the car for a trip to my husband's hometown for the annual Melon Festival. We're a little more comfortable than we were on the drive a year ago since we now have the comfort of a third row in our new car. Of course, we had to put all of our luggage in the top carrier since our dog and pet rabbit made the trip with us.

The drive up was fairly uneventful (for an 11 1/2 hour journey), the kids ate snacks, played with the animals, and watched lots of movies. We had a nice weekend. We spent too much money on carnival games, saw some of Rob's old friends, and even took a trip to an indoor water park - not my idea of fun, but sometimes that doesn't matter. The drive home (3 days later) was looong - 14 hours. We haven't seen rain in months, but we saw plenty of it while driving through Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia. All that rain got everyone thinking about water, and so there were lots of bathroom stops along the way.

This latte came to me around hour 12 when we stopped for dinner at chick-fil-a and heard lots of chatter about the tornadoes which had just passed through town. Don't worry about little things while on a road trip. If you and your kids eat nothing but fast food for a day, you will survive. But, take my word for this, while a latte or two on the road is great, be sure to watch everyone's liquid intake for the day.

A Back to School Latte

We survived. We made it through the first week of kindergarten, second and fourth grades. The kids have great teachers and at least a few friends in their classes. Getting up early, long days, keeping up with assignments - it's wearing me out, I can't imagine how the kids must feel. A new school year and new routine is a big adjustment for all of us.

I have to admit that I don't hate having a little time to myself each day. Apparently I'm not the only one. When I went for a post-drop off jog on the second day of school, I ran into at least half a dozen other moms either out for a walk, jog, or just enjoying a latte at Starbucks (yes, my jogging route ends up there, I use the walk home to enjoy my iced soy latte).

As the weeks wear on, we seem to be falling into a routine. Mornings aren't fun, but we're making it work, and we seem to be getting homework done in a timely manner. Mary Jane's teacher has only called me twice (so far) to tell me that there are some issues keeping Bunny put away. Bunny has stayed home from school the last few days. Gymnastics, karate, and yoga will start soon, and preschool starts tomorrow - I'm now a parapro in the 2 year old class.

I'm sure another year will go by too quickly, but I plan to find some time to catch up on writing

lattes. My back to school latte is this - pack a water bottle in each child's backpack, and find out what type of latte to bring the teacher on occasion. She deserves it!

A Birthday Latte

Birthdays always make me cry. Not my own of course, I'm already planning a big party for my 40th next year. It's my kids birthdays that get to me. If I slow down to take in the moment when we sing happy birthday to one of them, I'll tear up despite the chaos of lots of not so little kids excited about yet another birthday party. Since my girls' birthdays are only 3 days apart in May, we always have a big party weekend during which we get all of our celebrating done. Mason always feels a little left out of all of this since his birthday isn't till July. Here is the result, he starts planning 2 months in advance. By the time we finished our family celebration last night (with another krispy kreme doughnut cake), I was ready for Mason's 9th birthday-palloza to come to an end. I get it, my first-born is growing up.

Earlier this summer (yes, I realize that my last blog was spring-break), we went to Chicago. While there, we took the kids to Navy Pier and to the Children's Museum there. It's possible that it was our last visit to a Children's Museum, Mason was too old for many of the activities and quickly bored by others. I also felt like my kids were among the some of the older ones playing in the children's area at the Botanical Gardens last week. I felt a little bit of longing for simpler times as I watched the young moms chasing their 2 and 3 year old children around. Not that I want to go back, but at 5, 7, and 9, my kids are no longer babies by any measure.

It's all changing as it does every year. My kids have strong opinions which is good, I guess, and it keeps me on my toes. Still, watching them grow-up is bittersweet. There are times when I'm no longer their favorite person, and they don't need my help the same way they once did - not that I wish they still needed me to dress, change, and feed them, but at times I wish they would let me put them in the clothes I pick out. I guess that for now, I'll just keep drinking my venti, soy, iced lattes from Starbucks and try to enjoy each day - even the frustrating ones.

A Dandelion Latte

Spring Break 2011 has come and gone. I had big plans (as always) for trips to the zoo and museums, maybe an outing to the Botanical Gardens. The break got off to a fantastic and early start with our long weekend at the beach in Naples, FL. After a 1400 mile round trip, our new Volvo is officially broken in. We had a lovely few days with great friends we rarely see. As is often the case, I seem to be the only one who missed a few spots with the sunscreen. We returned home literally minutes before a terrible spring storm that uprooted trees and knocked out power for days in some very nearby neighborhoods.

On Wednesday of Spring Break week, the kids and I opted to take a walk to a nearby park that Mason & Charlotte like to call "Charson Lake." It is conveniently located right next to Starbucks and the book store. It was a beautiful day for a walk, and our little adventure took up most of the afternoon. Thanks to a neighbor who was out working in his yard, we also got a little gardening lesson and my children experienced the novelty of dialing a number on an old fashioned rotary phone. Of course, we also picked up a latte and a few new books for all. Along the way, in typical 4 year old fashion, Mary Jane stopped to pick every dandelion she saw so that she could blow the seeds off of it.

Don't get me wrong, of course I would have loved spending the entire week at the beach, but since that wasn't an option, at least I realized, once again, that we don't need big activities to have a great spring afternoon. Take some time to pick a dandelion while you're on your way to get a latte.

A Latte of Advice

I use to read parenting books and magazines. When Mason was little, I would read all sorts of things trying to make mental notes to remember when he was older. Then he did get older - I hate that he keeps doing that. For about a year after Mary Jane was born, when Charlotte & Mason were 2 and 4, I was in survival mode. I was exhausted, and I realized that reading beauty tips for moms and ways to make healthy snacks from scratch just made me want to cry. I was lucky to get a shower and 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

I cancelled my subscription to Parents Magazine because I couldn't take the guilt. I read about all of the things I wasn't doing to be a good mother, and it made me feel terrible. Somehow, we all survived, and even thrived. Now that they are (yikes) 4, 6, and 8, I'm entering a new stage in parenting. Rob & I are raising a little boy who is so much like us that sometimes we have a hard time communicating with one another. I'm learning that I can't and shouldn't try to control so much of my children's lives. Some of the advice is actually helping us have a calmer, happier home.

There is still guilt. While I am trying to "celebrate calm" with "love and logic" (2 current preferred parenting methods around here, I still run into moments when I have no idea what to do. I told Mason that he is my guinea pig for parenting. He told me that I didn't learn anything about raising girls who like American Girl Dolls from him. We have our moments. My advice is not to listen to too much advice. I've found that escaping to Starbucks really helps as well.