Saving Money

I'm all for saving money, especially in this economy, but 25+ years as a shopper have taught me a thing or two about bargains.  The hardest lesson for me to learn is that just because it is a great deal doesn't mean I should buy it.  I have fallen into this trap more than once for myself and my children.  I was reminded of it as I sorted everyone's clothes for the warm weather and packed away winter clothes.  The kids and I all seem to own a few things that I bought because they were such a good deal only to find that they didn't match anything in the current wardrobe therefore it was actually a waste of money.

Another lesson is that quality matters.  When I buy something for Charlotte, my assumption is that it should last for Mary Jane as well.  It is worth it to pay a little more for something that will still look great in two years as a hand-me-down.  I have said in the past that every now and then it pays to splurge.  It's not really a bargain if you don't get your money's worth out of it.

Today's latte is to spend carefully.  Think about what you and you kids want versus what you need.  Don't get too caught up in a great bargain, but make sure that you get good value for your money.  Don't make the mistake that I made this morning after sleeping with a sick child for 3 nights, I decided to save a little money and get a regular coffee instead of a latte.  A good latte is always worth a few extra dollars!  

Compromise

Anytime I ask my kids (now almost 3, 5, and 7) what they would like to eat, watch, read, play, etc, I usually get 3 different answers.  The rare occasions when they do all want the same thing, they all want to be the first one to get it.  We compromise on everything.  At times, everyone is content to take turns as long as they each get what they requested eventually.  But how do you keep everyone happy?

The short answer is that you don't.  No one who has at least one sibling is going to get his or her way all of the time (at least not in my experience), and they need to learn to accept that.  As a parent, the bigger struggle is in making sure that things are fair.   Charlotte was sick for several days this week.  When one child is sick, the needs of the other two suddenly multiply and they all want my attention at once and are very unhappy when the sick child gets more attention.  

On Wednesday, Charlotte didn't feel up to walking to pick Mason up from school so we called the school and said that he should go in the carpool line.  For those of you who know where I live, you're probably laughing - I pull out of my driveway into the carpool line.  Mason was furious, but Charlotte was sick so her needs came first that day.  Sometimes in those situations, distractions and bribery are the easiest way to keep the peace.  Starbucks to the rescue (I really don't make this stuff up).  A chai frappicino for me and chocolate milk for everyone else and we were all happily on our way to  karate.  This is a latte all moms already know, sometimes everyone needs a little chocolate to keep the peace and to keep your sanity!

Volunteers

As soon as your kids start school, the requests begin.  In preschool, it might start simple, reading a story to the class, making a meal for a family with a new baby, helping coordinate the teacher gift and end of year party.  If you say yes to a few of these, the requests grow - you might be the room parent, a member of the consignment sale committee, or even the parent council president in training.  Then comes elementary school, and with it, the PTA.

Tonight I went to the final PTA meeting of the year at my son's elementary school (also my alma mater), and I think that all of the moms and dads who commit to help out for an entire academic year deserve a thank you latte.  These people make a huge time commitment in order to be advocates for our children.  

I know that sometimes it's hard to find time to catch up on the mail and housework, much less time to volunteer at the school, but give it a try.  My latte today is to go to a PTA meeting.  They actually love to have few new faces in attendance, and you just might learn something.  And the really great thing is that if you chair a committee, you will actually get a thank you latte - my favorite kind!

"Be Patient"

It's something I say at least a dozen times a day, "Be Patient, we'll be there soon, Be patient, I'm fixing your snack now" etc.  Patience isn't easy for kids or for their moms.  About 4 1/2 years ago, people often told me how patient I was as a mother.  Looking back, I realize that things were easy then, Mason was happy as long as he was close to me, Charlotte was always happy, and I had complete control over all of our plans and activites.  They both napped in the afternoons and slept all night without calling me in.  

As things have gotten more busy and chaotic through the years, my patience has worn a little thin.  I'm more tired and have more to worry about than I did a few years ago, but it's time to practice what I preach (once again).  I need to find a way to "be patient" - patient with a 2 year old who is tired and hungry, patient after 12 hours in the car with 3 kids, patient with a house that never seems to be clean, patient during a 2 day blackout, patient with the 5+ pounds I can't seem to lose.  Too many lattes does not really help my patience, but I need at least one to make it through the day.  I am very lucky to have a husband who is patient until I get it each day.  

As I tell Mason, who also struggles with patience, take a deep breath and count to five.  That's not bad advice, maybe I'll give it a try.  

Road Trip

Spring Break 2009 -  We saw the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, dined with new American Girl dolls (thank you Nana), ran around Grand Central Station, took a carriage ride in Central Park, and found new Bakugan at the 3 story Toys R Us in Times Square (thanks again Nana).  We played with great friends while in the DC area and caught up with family in New York City.  Our family of 5 piled into our 4 Runner, made sure the DVD player was working, and we drove though 10 states and logged almost 2000 miles over the course of the week.  I'm exhausted!

I had an amazing time seeing the kids take in the sights and excitement of DC and New York for the first time.  It was a LONG drive, but well worth it.  It is great as a family to take some time away from the routine and schedule of every day.  A break from lattes and Facebook for me(I drank regular coffee all week), and a break from Noggin, Cartoon Network, and school for the kids.  It will probably take us all week to get back on track with school and work, but at least we made it home, we unpacked, and we went to Starbucks to start the day.  My latte to you is to take a family vacation, even if it's just a day at the park - pile in the car and take a break.  You'll enjoy the time together, especially if a latte-deprived mom tells you to enjoy or else.

Pictures will soon follow!    

Firsts

When I think of the "firsts" in my life before kids, I think of things like my first kiss, first car, first time I met my husband, first house, etc.  Once I became a mother, I began to measure everything in firsts - first time rolling over, sitting up, first tooth, first word, etc.  For the first 2 years of Mason's life, I meticulously recorded all of these events with pictures and notes in his baby book.  Putting together baby books for the girls is somewhere on my list of to do's right now.

Today I wittnessed a friend's 1 year old taking her first steps.  We were in the lobby of a 4 & 5 year old gymnastics class, and her youngest of 3 took her very first steps.  It was a very bittersweet moment for the mom, and one I think I'll remember for a long time even though I don't remember when my kids each took their first steps.  Each first for a child represents a step towards growing up.  Charlotte will have her first day of kindergarten in the fall, and Mason just spent the night at a friend's house for the first time.  Next week is spring break and we're taking our first family vacation without any diapers or portable cribs.  That's not such a bad thing.

Todays latte is to celebrate the firsts.  It doesn't have to be as monumentous as a first step, but sometimes it helps to celebrate the little things.  Right now I'm celebrating the fact that I made it through our first week of activities every afternoon - most of them in the rain.  Maybe one day I'll celebrate my first free latte from Starbucks for all of the advertising I give them on my blog.

Growing Up

Yes, yes, my kids are growing up - way too fast for my preference.  Mason has 2 loose teeth and I just dropped off Charlotte's kindergarten registration for the fall.  What I've really been thinking about today is the fact that moms grow up, too.  On a very non-TFT (rain, swim lessons, returning a pair of shoes), I was going to take a few minutes to catch up with a few of my mommy friends.  That's when I realized that while my kids have been busy growing, taking on new activities, and entering new stages in life, so have my friends.

When Mason was 1 1/2, he wasn't in school and Charlotte was on the way.  My mommy friends were my lifeline, women I saw or talked to daily for sanity checks about feeding, pregnancy, nap schedules, etc.  We went to Gymboree classes, playgroups, and the zoo together regularly.  I still miss those moms since I had to say goodbye to them when I left Denver for Atlanta.  It shouldn't be a surprise that my latte habit (decaf back then) started around that time.  

Now that the kids are in school more, and most of my friends are done having babies (I think), they're spending time on other things - jobs, PTA, working out, etc.  If it ever stops raining around here, I'm sure we'll plan trips to the park if anyone has time.  My latte today is to have a latte with some friends.  I've reached the point in mommyhood where I don't spend as much time with other moms, but it is still important to my sanity that I make time for my girlfriends.

The Good Stuff

My latte today should be to get organized.  Clearly, I'm not since I took my kids to the suburbs 30 minutes north of town for a birthday party at a jumpy place on Saturday only to find that the party was actually not until Sunday.  I had no one to blame but myself for the mix up.  I guess I could hold Mary Jane partly responsible since she ran off with the invitation about 3 minutes after it arrived in the mail, but I think it's really my fault.

By the time I drove back to the burbs today for the party, I realized that it actually made for an ok excursion.  Here are a few reasons that it's all good:  1. Yesterday was very, very rainy so being at a Jumpy Place was a good indoor activity, 2. Unlike last weekend, we did not have 3 other parties to get to.  In fact, the only other birthday party this weekend was just for adults.  It helped my mood yesterday knowing that I had a babysitter and night out with my husband on the way.  3. We still actually made it to the party, and everyone had a good laugh - the situation wouldn't have been as amusing if we were a day late instead of early.

As a result of the long drive again today and the fact that we went out last night to a grown up party, I'm worn out from the weekend but I'm not beating myself up for my mistake.  I'm looking at it as a learning experience (write it down, and double check the date & time), and a good latte, find the good stuff in a not so good situation.  

On a side note, I told Mason at bedtime that he needs to take a flower in to school tomorrow because it is teacher appreciation week, he looked confused and said, "Shouldn't we appreciate teachers every week?"  That's the good stuff!

Imagination

As an adult, I realize that I don't imagine things as much as I daydream about what could be - things like having a full time chef, housekeeper, secretary, and personal trainer.  When we bought our house 4 years ago, I suppose that Rob and I imagined the potential for the original 1954 kitchen and aqua blue walls, ceiling, and carpet.  We're still working on it.

For my kids, imagination has a whole different meaning.  I always wished we had a level backyard with a big swing set and lots of toys for the kids.  Since spring weather has arrived in Atlanta, the kids are having a blast playing in our very overgrown backyard with their tree house, the woods, and lots of imagination.  Mason (the leader, of course) makes secret clubs everywhere he can find - under the porch, under the basement stairs, and, now, in the woods behind our house.  He has realized that he needs to make a few concessions to get his sisters' participation in his games so he lets them be princesses.  Watching my kids play in the woods, I realize that they may each be imagining a different scenario as they run around and collect rocks and sticks, but they are all imagining something fun.  Not once have they stopped and said "I wish we had some other yard toys."

Today's latte is one that isn't easy for most adults, but here goes - stop daydreaming, wishing, or wondering what if, use your imagination and have some fun with or without kids.

"It takes a village..."

As I'm sure you know, "It takes a village" is not my line, but, right now, it is my life.  I was thinking about that line this morning when another mother actually said it to me.  She was picking her daughter up from my house between soccer and baseball games for her boys.  I am navigating my way through 5 birthday parties in 3 days while Rob is out of town.  It took carpools, playdates, and a babysitter to coordinate the day, but everyone survived and had fun.  

One day this week I got a call from another mother 10 minutes before preschool pick up - she was in a fender bender and she wanted to know if I could get her child from school.  About a month ago I asked the same favor of her when I locked myself out of the house.  As moms we need other moms (and dads) to rely on and to help us stay sane as we navigate our way through each day.  Today's latte is to ask for help, if you try to do it all yourself you and your kids will miss out.  Drop a child off with a friend while you take someone else to a party.  It will be more fun for everyone, and I'm sure that you will return the favor in no time.  And if you have a few child-free minutes (as I did this morning) don't forget to stop for a latte!